Flotsam and Jetsam

Random Notes from a Small Island

A new set of casual observations that belong here because they don’t warrant entries in and of themselves.

T-Shirts

Guam is the world capital of salacious t-shirts, and they are mostly worn by my students. I am truly no prude, as those who know me well can attest, but even I am embarrassed by some of the things I have seen emblazoned across my students’ chests. Some of them are sort of innocuous: “FBI (Female Body Inspector)” is not exactly politically correct, but OK, I can deal with it. But this is mild; the vast majority of them are just plain vulgar. Too vulgar even for me to repeat them here, though if you would like one, I am sure that I could ask my students to tell me where to get them. I am proud of the fact that I have no idea.

Media Star

I am becoming one! When members of my parish, St. John the Divine, made our appearance at the annual Relay for Life to support those living with and having survived breast cancer (half the island was there, in fact), I made it on TV as there was a cameraman catching footage of walkers. Why I got on TV I don’t know, as we were all there, but there it is. People came up to me for two weeks following, saying that they had seen me, which might give you an idea of how small this place is. Then a week ago, someone from KUAM, the island’s NBC affiliate, thrust a microphone into my face outside of my grocery store and asked my opinion about something. The fact that I don’t even remember what the question was would suggest that this experience did not serve to crown me with any glory, but, hey, friends saw me. One commented that she liked the shirt I was wearing, which I suppose says it all.

Interesting Tropical Fruits

. . . are coming into season, though “season” is kind of a relative term on island. I had yellow watermelon yesterday for the first time. Like its name suggests, its inner fruit is yellow, and it’s firmer than the red ones I’m used to. And tasty! My neighbor’s starfruit tree is beginning to produce again too—it did about six months ago, too—and he will probably bring me some. I did not know they grew on trees, but there they are, hanging all over the tree and looking kind of like Easter eggs that Michiganians hang from the bare branches of their trees in March. I’ve also been eating something called a pomelo (spelling?), which is like a big grapefruit, except it's way better and firmer. And the mangos here! Oh my goodness, they’re so good. Did you know you can make salsa out of them? Me neither, but try it if you can, it's great. It’s rather fun to go to the market and buy something the likes of which you’ve never seen. Waht the heck is this? Do you peel it? Eat it raw? Serve it with ginger? Boil it? Hang it on the Christmas tree?

Aloha Shirt Revisited

I’ve noticed a new kind of aloha shirt: the corporate logo one. A corporate logo will be worked into the print, and you might not notice it until you look closely. I think that I should collect them, if only because nobody else is loopy enough to have done so already, but even I don’t want to be seen in a tropical print shirt which is actually advertising Miller Lite, with little beer bottles nestled among the swaying palm trees. The Shell Oil, Pay-Less Supermarket, and Bank of Hawai‘i corporate logo aloha shirts are actually quite nice, though.

Beer

Speaking of beer, Guam is the world’s capital of “lite” beer. Per capita, more of it is drunk here than anywhere else on the globe. Even I can’t comment on that depressing thought. Please, somebody, ship me some Moosehead from Nova Scotia!

Spam

We also lead the world in Spam consumption. Makes you proud to be here, doesn’t it? Spam is actually incredibly popular all over the Pacific. Once you’ve been through a typhoon, it’s easy to see why: it keeps forever, so everybody has some in their emergency “typhoon” pantry. When your power has been out for a few weeks, Spam probably starts looking pretty good. It’s on menus all over the place, too; chicken kelaguen is the usual Guam specialty, but you see it made with Spam, too; Denny’s and Pojo’s (an island Denny’s, kind of) both do a big business in their Spam ’n’ eggs breakfasts. In fact, Hormel makes a special Guam Spam that’s sold only here. It has Tabasco in it, the third product we lead the world in per capita consumption! For true weirdness, however, nothing beats the special edition Liberation Day Spam (in a special commemorative tin—I am not making this up) that I saw last year. I hope and pray it’s offered again this year, and if it is, everybody Stateside will get a truly unique Christmas present. You will undoubtedly be the only one on your block . . .

Comments

[Ron]

I have tried Spam with Tabasco. Got it at Big Lots, which means it never
went over here in the states. I'll stick to the
regular.

[marcy]

Er, Moosehead is actually from New Brunswick . . .

[Rob]

I stand corrected, Marcy. OK, bring me a beer from the Maritimes. I don't care which (beer or province). Anything is better than Bud Lite.