Blogorrhea Junior

Pop Quiz

In honor of Shakespeare's christening day, a pop quiz:

1) What's the substitute word?

2) What play is this quotation from?

O! for a Flee of fire, that would ascend
The brightest heaven of invention!

Which work of Shakespeare was the original quote from?

Get your own quotes:

Found My New Calling

When I was a kid, I took ballet and tap lessons and I've always loved dance. Like most young girls, I was a huge ballet fan, an obsession that lasted well into my 30's, even though I realized I was never going to be a prima ballerina with my body (besides, it's really bad for your feet. Then I saw Mark Morris's dance company, which features a dancer who looks a lot like m.  Sorta like the teacher in Edge City:

Guh! Drool . . . .

Why why why does this look so good?  I can practically taste it. It's just ganache, but it's torture. I want a box of bonbons right now. Or to stick my face in that last pot on the right. And to think I was never a big fan of chocolate when I was a kid. [Via Michael Ruhlman and his Elements of Cooking]

 

I'm not that short!

Which Discworld Character are you like (with pics) created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Carrot Ironfounderson You are Captain Carrot Ironfounderson of the City Watch in the greatest city on the Disc – Ankh-Morprok! A truly good natured, honest guy, who knows everyone, and is liked by all. Technically a dwarf, but only by adoption. You’d rather not be reminded that you are the true heir to the throne, but that does explain why people naturally follow your orders… Carrot Ironfounderson 94% Esmerelda (Granny) Weatherwax 69% Lord Havelock Vetinari 69% Death 63% Commander Samuel Vimes 56% Gytha (Nanny) Ogg 56% The Librarian 50% Cohen The Barbarian 38% Greebo 38% Rincewind 13% I'm Carrot? My hair's not red anymore. I thought I'd come up more Granny Weatherwax, or one of the witches, for sure. I'm thankful that I didn't come up Rincewind, my least favorite Discword character. Even Death has more personality. And really only 38% Greebo?  That's it? I'm shocked. Fffffft! Rowr!

The Wasteland Remix

I have to admit that T.S. Eliot is one of my least favorite poets and "The Wasteland" is one of my least favorite poems. I find Eliot extremely obscure, arrogant, and navel-gazing, especially in "The Wasteland," which seems to revel in its obscurantism. If that wasn't bad enough, I find his language dull. So I was greatly amused when Jen sent me the link to version. It's one of those times when the remix is better than the original. Think of it as Eliot's cats wreaking revenge on him for writing such a ridiculous poem about them and letting someone turn it into an insipid Broadway musical.

LOLcat Wasteland

(TS Eliot’s the wasteland, rewritten in the LOLCat of i can has cheezburger.)

i seez cumean sybil
sybil can has bukkit?
sybil wantz DIE

1. IM IN UR WASTELAND BURYING UR DEAD

april hates u, makes lilacs, u no can has. (1)
april in ur memoriez, making ur desire.
spring rain in ur dull rootzes.

earth in ur winter, covered in snow
can has potato. PO-TA-TO.
INVISIBLE SUMMER! RAININGZES!
im in ur hofgarden, drinking ur coffeez.

at archduke’s haus, invisible sled!
im in ur moutainz, holding on tight.
no can has cheezburger.
oral sex metaphors in ur poem.

in ur stones, whar r treez? (19)
whar r bushez?
ceiling cat cannot say.
im in redrock, hiding from sunz.
commin ze redrock.
im in ur handfull of dust,
showing ur fear.
redrock, redrock.

whar r wind?
INVISIBLE IRISH GIRL
in ur homelandz, freshening ur windz

can has hyacinths,
no can has tongue.
Isolde u down teh rivers.

Sosotris Cat has smartz, (43)
can see bukkit,
dead sailorz in bukkit,
hooked on fonicians.
belladonna in ur rocks,
situating ur situations.
man has three staves,
turning wheelz,
INVISIBLE CARD.
Sosotris Cat no can has hanged man:
avoid bukkit or u drownz.

INVISIBLE CITY (60)
i see dead peoplez under bridge,
i see dead peoplez on der streets,
walrus has clocks, says NEIN.
bodiez in ur garden, sprouting ur zombies
dog no can has zombies!

II. U WANTS TO PLAY A GAME? (79)

She has shiny chair,
with tacky decor.
ornate fornicate apellate,
king in teh philomel,
shoutin up teh desert.

world cries ‘jub jub bird,’
or is diffrent poem?
INVISIBLE BANDERSNATCH!
time killing everythingz,
platos cave wall,
forms in teh cave,
shuffling in teh stairs,
hushing teh room,
ushering teh fatez.

“i has bad nerves.
u can has speeches?
u can has thoughts?
u can has thinkings?”

OMG WTF RAT ALLEY (115)
dead manz no bonez!!!?!

OMG WTF NOISE?
INVISIBLE WIND!
OMG WTF NOISE?
ceiling cat is watching you masturbate.
OMG WTF? WTF U SEE? WHAT U NO?
no see, no know, no remember butt.

o o o o (125)
shakespeare rag is smartness.
im in teh street, walkens.
im in ur schedule,
measuring out ur life in teh coffee spoonz.

LOL hurry.
LOL can has fake teeth?
LOL ur husband back from war,
wants some more.
LOL hurry.
LOL in your bed, makinz teh kiddles.
LOL drugz LOL!
LOL eating lambz.
LOL SPEEDY LOL!
LOL goodnight

III. TEH SERMON, IT BURNZ (173)

if teh river running, why not moving?
INVISIBLE WIND.
nymphoz gone.
river has trash no more.
nymphoz and friends left,
no can find.
shakey bones with big laughs r here!

rat creepin in teh banks, (186)
fisher kingz has no fishies!
rat eatin kingz relatives.
king sees mrs potter, standing in teh bubbles.
potter daughter hotter.

twitter twitter
jub jub bird.
still in rong poemz
TRUE!

INVISIBLE CITY
eugenideez has raisin pockets,
no can parly francay,
wants lunch at cannon,
wants weekend at pole.

teh day is done,
teh crowd is throbbing.
tiresias iz teh hermafrodite!
tiresias sees:

teh sailor sails home
teh typist makes tea
teh house agent feelz typists
teh house agent can has nookiez
teh typist no has sensation
putting teh needle on record
omg hole in the wall

tiresias in teh thebes (grecian), speeking to deaders, sees on in!

thames has music,
city has shiny decor,
mandoline rains.

sweaty river
drifty barges
turny tides
it all goes downhill,
or at least downstream

hawaiian music

liz and lester
beating ‘ores,
stern, swell, ripple,
all downstream,
big white towers

in teh canoe, (291)
i r laying, begin again.
INVISIBLE ANYTHING.
no can has anything!

carthago can has delenda (307)
fire! fire! fire!

IV: IN TEH WATERS, DYING.

dead fonician,
forgotten bukkit, gulls,
seas, moniez.
fonician hooked on current.
fonician in teh whirlpoolz, spinny
spinny fortunes’ wheel.
in teh fonician, ponder ur fate!

V: U LISTEN THUNDERS OR ELSE!

after torchlight shiny in quiet gardens (322)
after sweaty faces in stony agony:
teh screamz and teh cries!
thunder in teh mountains, shaking all.
if u lives, u dies.
just wait.

u can has bukkit, (331)
no can has water,
ha ha no can has bukkit,
just rock and sand.
no stand, no sit,
no shirt, no shoes, no service,
just thunder shaking moutainzes.
no can has water.
no can has water.
actually, no can has rock either.
no can has water or rock,
or for that matter sand.

ceiling cat is watching you masturbate (360)
u and ur dirty friend.

what r sound?
who r teh hordes?
teh hordes on teh plains rushing.
what r teh cities?
INVISIBLE CITIES.

woman pulls out hairs tight,
and fiddles teh hairs.
teh bats r freaking!
towers ringing bells,
voices singing in wells.

rotten hole in mountains, (385)
moon shining on grass and gravez!
chapel is empty, only with chickens!
cockadoodle doo!
here comez the rains again.

teh metaphorz are thick and fast, (395)
no can has literal translationz.
ganga cat is watching ur fourth wall.
waiting for rainz.
cloudz in teh sky ar far ways.
THUNDERS!
datta means give!
in a moment u lives, transitory,
no can has recording.
dayadham means be compassionate!
u thinks bout prisoner,
thnks ur in prison,
damyata means have self-control!
u r boat on calm seas,
at least on good day

London bridges falling down! (425)
falling down! falling down!
fall down long time!

you get burned clean
or you goes hell!
burny burny burny!
prince at ruined tower,
storing pieces against ruin.
Hieronymo’s goin crazeee cat!
dada dada dada

VISUALIZE WHIRLED PEACE.

© 2007 Corprew Reed, some rights reserved.

via Corprewland

As If You Couldn't Tell

What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Dedicated Reader You are always trying to find the time to get back to your book. You are convinced that the world would be a much better place if only everyone read more.
Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
Literate Good Citizen
Book Snob
Fad Reader
Non-Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You? Create Your Own Quiz

Trekkie Alert!

I don't know whether to file this under Geeky Silliness or Silly Geekinees, but I squeed when I saw it.  There's a new shop called Uppercase in Canada that just opened a new cyberstore. Among the goodies is a book called The Shatner Show.  Inside are drawings and prints of everybody's favorite SciFi Love God, William Shatner. Here's my favorite, by Ronald Kurniawan. Go see the rest.

Don't Drink the Art

Hipsters, take note: you can't do this with tea, but you can do it with paper. This cappucino art video (courtesy of Retrospectacle via Jen) reminded me of similar demos I've seen of paper marbling, the difference being that you drink the product rather than make pretty things out of it. But talk about ephemera!

Here's a vid of the traditional Turkish paper marbling called Ebru. You'll see what I mean when you compare the two. The technique and process are very, very similar. How odd, huh?

The Story Strikes Back

I often feel my own characters are doing this in my head or, just as often, on the page. And that red stuff on the paper?  You thought that was ink? Nuh-uh.

Animator vs. Animation by *alanbecker on deviantART

Attack of the Paper Folders

This is way too good to pass up: paper arts, geekiness, and fandom all in one! In other words, some brilliant Star Wars origami by Phillip West. Although I've never tried it, I'm a huge fan of origami and I'm endlessly amazed by the cleverness of people who do it. One of my favorite bits of business in Blade Runner was Edward James Olmos's character's little origami leavings. They were both clever and ominous at the same time.  And talk about ominous, here is the Emperor with his blue lightning, and some of his original work too, which is equally science-fictiony:

Who needs action figures when you can make your own?

(Via Playgirlz.)